It makes me sick.

The breast vs formula debate makes me sick.

If you know me you know how hard it has been for me to breast feed. I suffered through mastitis, clogged ducts, thrush, a baby who couldn't latch, open sores on my nipples, and so much more. I did it because it is what I wanted, almost needed. So I suffered through. I'm not going to lie. I thought about quitting multiple times a day. There were days I think I cried more than my baby because I couldn't breastfeed. Breastfeeding almost gave me postpartum depression.

But I still cringe every single time I hear the phrase "Breast is best". Best for who? That's a hurtful, ignorant statement. Do you know how hard it is to try to feed your newborn 12 hours a day while your breast are engorged, painful to the touch, and you feel like you are going to die from the flu? Because a new mom with mastitis does. Do you know what it's like to try to find a balanced diet when you can't eat soy or dairy? What about the feeling of letting your child down if you accidentally ingest dairy and your baby screams in pain for hours because her body can't tolerate milk protein? How about the feeling of failure if you try everything you can but you just can't produce enough milk?

Do you know how it feels?

Then I'm politely asking you to shut the fuck up. If you don't know how it feels then you can't say that breast is best.

I'm all for breastfeeding. It has so many wonderful benefits. I'm glad I stuck with it. I plan on breastfeeding for another year. But just because it is right for me does not mean it is the best thing for everyone.

As mothers I think we should support one another. We should be there for each other when one of us is having problems breast feeding and we should be there for each other when we're panicking because our baby's formula has been recalled and we're worried they're going to get sick.

This isn't about YOU. It's about our children. And our children will be okay whether we feed them breast milk or formula.

The Mama Machine: I'm Not That Mom

Here's a great post by the Mama Machine on motherhood:

The Mama Machine: I'm Not That Mom: "I'm not that mom. . . . who tells her children they can't touch the piano simply because they can't 'play a song' yet. (I'm the kind of mom..."

I wish I had known...

This is somewhat of a spin off of my previous post. Some friends and I were talking about things we wish we had known before having a baby:

Don't listen to all the advise people give you! Every baby is different so what worked for them, just might not work for you.

Gerber clothes run really small.

Gripe water is much cheaper at an Asian market.

Leave the tags on most of your clothes and don't wash them. You never know what is going to work out. Keep receipts and tags so you can return things.

Keep boxes! If something doesn't work you can return it. Plus, it ups the resale value on CraigsList or at Once Upon A Child.

If you are having problems breast feeding see a lactation consultant ASAP. Don't wait or try to figure it out on your own.

It took me a few months to feel like myself again.

Follow your baby's cues. Don't turn to a method right away.

It's okay to ask for help.

Most babies only want to be awake for 1-2 hours at a time.

Don't let anyone pressure you into doing something you're not comfortable with.

Don't feel like you have to keep everything that people buy you. I'm sure they would rather you exchange it for something you can use then have it sit around and collect dust.

You can't spoil a newborn.

Infants are developmentally unable to self sooth until at minimum 6 months.

Some babies are difficult. Just because you have a difficult baby doesn't mean you're a bad mom.

Your husband is your equal partner and your childs parent. He us not a babysitter.

A lot of parenting is trial and error. Just keep trying things until you stumble upon something that works.

Limit the number of visitors and how long they stay.

Garage sales are awesome for finding inexpensive baby stuff.

The hospital snot suckers are terrible. Get a Nose Frida.

If you feel yourself becoming frustrated with a screaming baby take a step back and breathe. You can't hear your baby crying from the shower. If it becomes too much, don't ever be afraid to ask for help.

Nursing bra pads and nipple cream are your new best friend. Find the biggest bra pads you can. You will leak. It will soak through your bra and shirt.

Do your research. Yes, there are many ways of doing things but some are safer than others. Just because someone says, "I do it and we've had no problems" doesn't mean it's okay. There are warnings out there for a reason.

Don't buy a bunch of newborn things until after baby is here. You could never need them or you could use them for months.

You will have a hormone crash. Accept it.

If you get the opportunity to stay an extra night in the hospital, take it.

Breastfeeding is HARD! It's difficult and it's painful. Pair that with your hormone crash and it is a recipe for disaster. If you really want to do it, stick with it. It will get better! If you end up quitting, don't feel guilty for your decision.

Tucks pads are awesome.

You will bleed the first time you get up. My god, the amount of blood.

It's normal to feel alone in the beginning.

Take home extra pads, disposable undies, and the peri bottle from the hospital. The pads are so much better than store bought ones and the undies can just get thrown away. The hospital has to trash them if you don't take them with you.

Don't rock your baby to sleep every night!! Put them down drowsy no matter how sweet and precious they look. Teaching them how to self soothe will keep you from lots of looooong nights in the future.

It is ok to ask anyone and everyone to wash their hands before holding the baby. If they get sick, YOU are the one who has to help them and deal with them.

Don't hesitate to call the Dr. That is what they are there for. I seriously called the nurses line once a week for the first two months. They were always nice, and in the end it gave me a peace of mind! They are used to new mom's!

Thomas eating and giggling

Thomas couldn't stop giggling while eating last night. So cute (and messy)!

If you could...

go back to before you had your first child and tell yourself one thing, what would it be?

Here are some of my favorite responses from friends:

You are stronger than you think.

Having postpartum depression is not shameful. Ask for help!

You are about to become the woman you never knew you could be.

Your instincts are your best tool.

Drink the castor oil.

Never say never.

Sometimes things get worse before they get better but they do get better.

Take more pictures.

It's not as hard as some people make it out to be.

It's harder than some people say it is.

Stop planning for everything because it's all out the window.

You'll get through it.

You will make mistakes. She will love you anyway.

Relax and enjoy the ride.

Your life is about to change in ways you never thought possible.

Relax and enjoy the ride.

Giving birth is the easy part.

You will love your husband more than you ever thought possible when you see him holding your baby in his arms.

You will love her so much that it hurts.

It's okay to need a break.

You will abandon all dignity if it means getting a tiny smile out of your child. And it will be worth every second.